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| Whatever You Think Think the Opposite |
I picked up Whatever You Think Think the Opposite, by Paul Arden, on
a recommendation from a renowned copywriter’s website.
I’m more of a romantic fiction
girl myself, so this was a bit of a departure, but in a quest to further myself
and my copywriting I have committed to reading one relevant book a month.
I surprised myself by
devouring it in one sitting – but then it’s that kind of book.
More of a coffee table book (albeit a small one, and probably more at home in a creative agency’s waiting room), and is in fact, as much about the design as the text. The two work together to create the feeling of immersion in Arden’s ideas, he uses subtle persuasion; showing not telling.
But then that’s his modus
operandi, isn’t it? With a background at Saatchi & Saatchi it is perhaps unsurprising
that his book is a lesson in selling your ideas as much as it is about sharing
the ideas themselves.
The basic premise is that the
best decisions are not the boring ones that everyone makes, but the ones that
turn things on their head, and tackle a problem from another angle. Yes these
are the riskier choices, and sometimes they may go wrong, but when they
succeed, the results can be spectacular.
Ultimately you are more likely
to be remembered for what you do rather than what you don’t do. And it is those
who are brave enough to ‘rebel’ and take risks, come what may, who forge a path
for themselves, and often for the rest of us as well.
Am I now thinking the opposite of what I was thinking?
I’m not sure it has
fundamentally changed the way I think, but in my current situation, with my
copywriting training often taking me firmly outside my comfort zone, I felt
it supported the decision I made.
The marketing psychologists
say that buyers buy for emotional reasons and then look to justify
it, maybe this is the same phenomenon. I finally made the jump to do something
I’ve been thinking about for ages, and am now constantly looking for
reassurance that I am doing the right thing. I felt the first half of the
book provided that.
However, my feelings changed
when I reached page 110.
I read, ‘Don’t go to university,’ and, ‘...at twenty-eight it is a bit late to find out you are in the wrong job.’
Well, why don’t I just give up
now then? Hang on while I look on Right Move to see if any small, dark caves
have been recently vacated.
I tried to work out why this
annoyed me so much:
- Was it because the book that I felt was offering a crutch to my uncertainty had just turned 360 degrees and dealt me a near-fatal blow?
- Was it because this part seemed so against the ethos of the book? The one that suggested you should embrace rejection and persist? Whose audience, I wouldn’t mind betting, averaged at least 28?
- Or, was it purely because I don’t like being told what to do? Particularly so directly, and, not least because I chose the opposite and have now gone full circle to start something I could have probably done in the first place, thus making him RIGHT! In my case.
And that’s the point isn’t it?
In. My. Case.
Everyone is different;
everyone’s choices are made from within the confines of background,
opportunity, fortune, and to an extent the decisions that have gone before.
If I knew then what I know
now, maybe I wouldn’t have gone to uni., although it was a lot of fun so maybe
I would. But either way, 13 years down the line I cannot alter the decision I
made. I can only build on it.
People don’t like to be given
generalised messages about what they should or shouldn’t do, because there is
no reference to ability and circumstance – is this something that I could actually do? And what is more,
the thought of not being able to do whatever it is – whether due to a) Health,
b) Money, c) Having already done the opposite, or a million other reasons, leads
to resentment of those who are able.
And that brings me to Kirstie Allsopp, and THAT thing she said recently – you must have heard the uproar:
“I don’t have a girl, but if I did I’d be saying ‘Darling, do you know what? Don’t go to university. Start work straight after school, stay at home, save up your deposit – I’ll help you, let’s get you into a flat. And then we can find you a nice boyfriend and you can have a baby by the time you’re 27.'”
Yes she’s from a privileged
background and may, I stress may as I
am loathe to make assumptions about someone I know little about, have had
slightly more freedom of choice as a result of this. And yes, of course many of
us need to make difficult decisions to make sure we are still turning an income
through our child-bearing years. But we must not forget that Kirstie is, in
fact, a hard-working mum just like many of us.
Surely, in the end it comes
down to this.
Just because women could now go to uni., become CEO of a
FTSE100 company, or drive a Formula 1 car, does not mean that they should have to
want all of these things.
And just because, due to my
circumstances (whatever they may be), I am not in a position to choose a
particular option, does not mean I should berate, or worse, abuse those who can
and do.
Ultimately, the choices we
make in life, and in business, have to be the right ones for us given what we
want, but also what our circumstances will allow. And as our circumstances
evolve, so do the choices available to us.
However unfair, that’s just
the way it is.
We can make the riskiest
choice, or the bravest choice, or the choice we are told to make, or even the
one we are told not to make, but at the end of the day we have to make a
choice based on a personal set of circumstances and beliefs that are as unique
to you as they are to me.
If Kirstie’s ‘daughter’ wants
to put children before uni or career, and is in a position to do this, that’s great. She
may later discover that this was a good choice, or a poor choice. But more than likely she will take all the little signals along the way that suggest to her
she was right, and use them to post-rationalise her decision.
Just as all the people who
made the same decision as her will be taking what was said as proof that they, too, did the right thing.
Meanwhile, all the people who
feel they could not have this opportunity (whether or not they actually wanted
it!), will resent their lack of choice, and thus berate Kirstie’s ‘daughter’
for the decision that she felt was right in her case.
And this is what I take from the book
You have the freedom to choose your own path, take risks where you feel them to be appropriate FOR YOU and then stand by these decisions, dust yourself off when they fail and go back to the drawing board.
Focus on forging YOUR
OWN path in the way that’s right for YOUR circumstances, and stop giving a damn
about what everyone else is thinking and doing.
"The world is what you think of it. So think of it differently and your life will change."
P. Arden, Whatever You Think Think the Opposite, p. 136
If you have any recommendations for marketing /
copywriting/ career change books I should add to my reading list I would love
to hear them below.
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Wondering how it all started? Read my first post: CA – Copywriters Anonymous
Follow my #copywritingjourney on Twitter: @weenixlen
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